Also, the lack of initial basic desire means the impetus to just get intimate with a new person anyway and see if it turns into something good later doesn't really happen either.

I'm struggling to articulate a thing here, but I can identify with this to a certain degree and have found that even if the physical desire is not present I can still feel the impetus to be intimate for other reasons - wanting closeness, the emotional connection it brings, and responsive desire meaning that once I'm doing it the physical desire 'wakes up'. Have you tried thinking about intimacy in those terms, rather than just 'am I turned on right now'?